It's that time of year again. The time of year that we talk about the very serious issue of child cruelty, of the heartless, horrible things that parents do to their young children. Things that could scar them for life.
That's right. Halloween is next month. Let's talk about baby Halloween costumes.
There are a disturbing amount of costumes that involve dressing babies as food. Years from now when the social scientists analyze all that was wrong with our culture, I'm sure they'll have a lot to say about dressing up a baby like dinner.
Continuing the "your child as food" theme, we have this poor babe. It's one thing to put the baby in a fish costume, but actually put him in a pot...what's that I smell cooking? Ah, yes. Years of therapy.
Don't you hate it when you pick your dinner out of the tank at Red Lobster, and right as you make your decision it gives you that pitiful "why me?" look and you end up sobbing into your third glass of wine and filling up on cheddar biscuits instead because you can't bring yourself to eat Pinchy?
What? Don't look at me like that. I know you've been there.
Now this is just downright mean.
I hate you.
I smell freakin' awesome. But I hate you.
Okay, this one is actually kind of funny. Not so funny when you slide it onto your buddy's chair though. Unless you think a Whoopie Cushion so go "waaaaaah!" Then you'd be spot-on.
Friends, parents, readers: please help raising awareness of this very serious issue. If you see a friend or a family member eyeing up the baby section at Halloween Express, or if you find the infant section of www.costumecraze.com among their bookmarks, please intervene. Do it for the children.