Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Jack's "No-Sleep Cry Solution"

Jack is a born leader, if I do say so myself. He's a pioneer in the field of gross noises, and mastering the renowned "diaper removal and pee" method cherished by expert babies and toddlers everywhere. Just this week he began his trial run of the "No-Sleep Cry Solution."

Parents have probably heard about Elizabeth Pantley's famous book, the "No-Cry Sleep Solution."  Having a baby sleep through the night is such a revered goal - perhaps the holy grail of newborn babyhood - that there is a whole market out there for products, books, seminars, music and DVDs aimed at teaching babies how to sleep through the night.  While some parents believe in some variation of the "cry it out" method of sleep training, others advocate that parents should just deal with a baby who wakes every forty-five minutes until that baby is good and ready to sleep longer.  Pantley's method is a far more gentle alternative for coaxing young babies to sleep through the night, and one which has saved the sanity of many a sleep deprived parent.

Well, Jack's having none of that.  Apparently he just learned that most babies don't start sleeping through the night at three weeks as he did, and he wants to make up for lost time.  To that end, he began working on some research for his alternative to Ms. Pantley's book, which he is going to call the "No-Sleep Cry Solution."

His goal?  No sleep.  Cry.

Last night, for example, Jack napped soundly in the car on the way home from Gander Mountain.  We unlatched Mr. Sleeping Precious from his carseat, got him ready for bed, and put him down for the night.  He slept for a blissful, beautiful hour until we were ready for bed.  That's when his bat-sense tingled:  mom and dad are going to sleep?  Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

I tried my usual methods of comforting him: tucked the blanket around his legs, squeezed the musical lullaby Seahorse, gave him his pacifier, but he wasn't having any of it.  

Dan advised me that it was a "hungry cry."  Hungry cry cannot be fixed by song, Seahorse, or cuddles.  It requires a full bottle, even if it is the middle of the night.  Even if I'm damn tired.  So Hungry Jack had his bottle, and I didn't sleep.  I put him back to bed, wide awake but at least content enough to play quietly instead of wail.  I slept the half-sleep of a mom with one ear in her son's crib.

For about an hour.  Like a perverse alarm clock, he wound up again at two, and then three, and then five.  By five he couldn't be calmed by any conventional means of soothing except being held.  Which required me to be awake.  That is, after all, the ultimate goal of the No-Sleep Cry Solution:  baby gets plenty of sleep but Mom?  Mom gets to hold baby, wide awake and bleary eyed, while baby sleeps.

Ahh, ultimate goal achieved: I sleep while Mom toils.
Thanks, Jack.  Let's take a break from your research tonight so you can go back to being that sweet, sleeping baby you used to be.  Mom's not a fan of these dark circles under her eyes.



Susie B. Homemaker said...

Aww, poor baby... and poor mommy! Hope he goes back to sleeping thru the night for you again.

I have an award for you. :)
You deserve one after a sleepless night like that. ;p

Candace said...

Cute cute baby! Sleep issues stink though :S

J. At Your Service said...

Cute blog!! I happily, your newest follower!