Yesterday's blog was awfully sentimental and sweet. Though every word of it was true and from the heart, lest you think that it is nothing but puppies and rainbows, unicorns and hugs down at the Monkey Butt Ranch, let me tell you about my morning.
My morning started, as they all do, with Jack stirring early. I dragged myself out of bed, changed his diaper, and because this weather is still so stinking hot I thought it would be smart to let him skip the clothes for now.
We went downstairs, he in his cowprint diaper and me in my pajamas, and I made a pot of coffee. I fired up my laptop so I could read the morning news while feeding Jack, as I always do, and I set Jack on my lap. He ate happily for a few minutes and then...then I felt it. A very wet, hot spot, spreading onto my lap. It actually took my brain a few moments to process what was happening.
While I was engrossed in the news, Jack had been busy opening up the velcro on his diaper, exposing his little boy bits to the world. Hilarious, Jack. Until he had to pee. ON MY LAP. Gah.
I refastened his diaper, set him on the floor and ran to the bathroom like I was on fire, listening to Jack wail as I washed up. He quickly discovered his toys and was totally unconcerned about his interrupted breakfast, so I took the opportunity to dress for work before returning to finish Jack's breakfast.
And then he barfed on me. On my work clothes, my shirt and pants. I was covered. Jack, on the other hand, seemed rather pleased. He actually laughed.
Jack, I've said it before and I'll say it again: it is a good thing you are cute.