I'm just a stay at home mom trapped in a working mom's body.

This week I decided to try sewing Jack a pair of wool longies. Now, everyone who knows me outside of this blog just had to go re-read that first sentence because I said that I was going to sew. I'm terrible at sewing. I have a brand new sewing machine that I haven't even figured out how to set up. I've owned it for nearly four years now and it has never made a single stitch. But I found a pattern for converting a wool sweater into long wool baby pants, and I thought I'd try hand-sewing them. They actually turned out okay, and they are currently keeping Jack's backside nice and warm on this cold winter night. I even got an unsolicited compliment on them when we were out tonight.  Pardon the blurry camera phone photo.

I love stuff like that. I love making home cooked meals for my family. I love gardening and canning. I love baking bread and making our own condiments. I love little arts and crafts and projects. If I stayed home with Jack, I'd give some serious consideration to home schooling.  I picture days filled with educational nature walks, classes at the YMCA, rainy afternoons at the library. 

I think I'd make a great stay at home mom.  Where do I apply?

 I know that somewhere there's a stay at home mom rolling her eyes at my idyllic vision at SAHM-hood, and she'd kill to be able to just pop out for a latte or chill at Barnes & Noble on her lunch hour like I can.  She'd tell me about the reality of the Bad Days, where sleep is nonexistent, babies are fussy and sick, and a shower is as rare as a unicorn sighting.I admit when I know Jack is going to have a rough day, it can feel good to head out the door, battle traffic for the better part of an hour, and look ahead to a ten hour work day.  The grass is always greener on the other side isn't it?

Part of me will always wonder what it would have been like to experience those Tuesday morning mom and baby groups and mid-afternoon playdates.  But my family is exactly as it should be, and while I wouldn't change a thing, I'll still allow myself the occasional SAHM fantasy as I sip my latte in my office.