The diagnosis is in.

We've been noticing some changes in Jack lately. When we change his diaper or his clothes, he screams like he is being beaten with a chain. He has started to become discontent with his safe, child-friendly toys, preferring to reach for more dangerous objects like electrical cords and heavy glassware. He's become a total daredevil, and if left unsupervised I'm convinced he will begin BASE jumping off of any surface he can climb onto.  And, rather disturbingly, he has begun to use his toys to stand on to reach high places where (we thought) we had safely stashed our breakables.

What has gotten into our child?

I conferred with the experts, the highest authorities on the matter: I asked other moms. And they all agreed that it could only be one thing, but it was a diagnosis I was unprepared for.

Impending Toddlerhood.

I'll give you a moment to take that in.  It took us by surprise too. Wasn't he just a small, tiny newborn? Wasn't he just this snuggly little thing that fit perfectly in the crook of my arm?

Your toys are lame.  I will dismantle your television now.

I've done some research on Impending Toddlerhood (or, "IT" as we call it) and IT is not a permanent condition.  In all cases, it subsides with the passage of time.  IT too shall pass, as they say.  But in the meantime, we struggle to keep our house in order, to keep Jack safe from himself, and to keep our sanity between all of the "No, Jack!" and "Oh dear GOD, NO JACK!"s. 

It gets easier though, right?  Once he's a toddler I'm sure everything will be just fine.