August 11, 2009 was the day of my "big ulstrasound;" the day we learned that our little baby was in fact going to be a boy. It was the day I had to pack up my visions of sweet frilly dresses and tea parties and try to figure out what to do with a boy. I mean, what do boys like? Sticks? Mud? Bugs? Little cars? This is going to be complicated.
This week I had a big glimpse into what it is going to be like to be the mom of a little boy, although I guess I can't fairly call this my first "boy mom" moment. That happened at the hospital, the very day little Jack was born, when he shot a champion pee stream into the air and across our hospital room. I couldn't do anything to contain the flow because I was laughing so hard. My husband saved the day by scrambling a diaper to cover the spout. (Of course he'll never let me live that one down). That was my first "boy mom" moment.
My first major "boy mom" moment happened this week. Jack has learned a new sound this week: the raspberry. Of course, being Jack, he can't just do it occasionally, or quietly, or in private. No, this boy goes for the gusto. He takes this new skill of his and practices it every chance he gets, in all kinds of company. And it isn't just a simple raspberry sound. No, Jack couldn't do it that way. He has to make the biggest, baddest, wettest, oh-my-god-I-just-crapped-my-pants fart sound every time he does it.
Oh, but that's not all. No. This is Jack. He doesn't do things halfway.
Instead of simply doing one of these monster shart raspberries and then moving on to something else, he has developed an equally gross, wet, suctioning sound to inhale with. This gives him the ability to make a string of wet, sloppy raspberries in a row, which sounds like squishyfart-suck-squishyfart-suck-squishyfart-suck. And repeat. Did I mention that it's really loud, too?
Yeah, it's great. And,yeah, people stare. I get everything from the "you need to change that boy's diaper, STAT" to the "ohmygod honey I think that woman just farted" stare. No, really, it's the baby. And it was his face. I swear. Thanks, Jack.
As for Jack, he thinks it's hilarious. We definitely have a boy on our hands.